Miss Match

It’s over

missmatchblog — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 01:09:52 +0000

Original:

Uhhh… Can you please wrap your green head band in an envelope and send it to me? I need to smell you immediately, and then we can have babies.

Sorry friends, this is the last laugh.

You’re a……loser!

missmatchblog — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 04:50:10 +0000

Original:

hi

Your long awaited search is over……for I am the man of your dreams.

The prophecy has been foretold…..at the Starbucks…… first, we get married…..and then……you’re bound to dream about me eventually……because after all…. I’m your spouse.

So retroactively speaking, I am the man of your dreams.

You’re moving a little fast for me though……you might start off by simply replying to this message.

I’m not sure what the Starbucks had to do with this prophecy, but I think we’re supposed to go there.

regards,
Caleb

Excuses, excuses

missmatchblog — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 03:24:11 +0000

Original:

am i too young for you?lol

My reply:

Quite the contrary.

Judging by the originality of your overzealous bathroom mirror shirtless photograph, I am much too OLD for you.

His response:

I really wish i had a differnet picture to put there but i dont take pictures very often and it wont let me make any others my profile pic im not sure why… ugh oh well then

Well, I for one, care if I piss myself.

missmatchblog — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 03:18:21 +0000

Miss

I don’t care if you lick windows,
Take the special bus
Or occasionally pee on yourself….
You hang in there sunshine,
You’re friggin’ special

Mr. Values

missmatchblog — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 03:14:35 +0000

Original:

Looks like you’ve traveled some, what has been your favorite place so far? I just got back from SF and Hawaii…it was so much fun but very had to return to work: I went from being on the North Shore on Sunday to Oklahoma City for work by Tuesday. Well, I’d love to talk sometime if you’re interested. I think we have a lot of core values in common which is always a good start. Brian

My reply:

My travels have brought to many new places and new experiences. When in Rome………… or when in Thailand do as the ladyboys do!!!!

His response:

Ha ha, I like your sense of humor! Is the dog in your pics yours? He is so adorable! I love animals, especially dogs and cats. I think there’s a big thing going on here this weekend, what are your plans for this weekend? Brian

Save me. I’m drowning in bullshit.

missmatchblog — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 06:52:01 +0000

Original:

You are gorgeous with the prettiest smile and eye

Happy Thanksgiving Miss!!

Enjoy your day today!! You are invited to the annual San Diego Christmas Black-Tie Ball and 5 other great holiday parties! I own homes next to the San Diego Yacht Club. Do you like boating?
Do you want to go to the Charger’s game on Sunday!?

I would love to treat you to lunch or dinner and get you on my payroll! ($$,$$$.$$) I could use some help decorating my homes and shopping for stuff!!

xoxo

Benny Huggs (add me as a friend on Facebook

Walk the plank!

missmatchblog — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:21:02 +0000

Original:

BLAARRGHH!

I mean.. hello!

What grade do you teach? Props to you for being a teacher, the world definitely needs more of them.

My reply:

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! Ahoy!

How did you know I love pirates? Do you love pirates? I’m like obsessed with pirates.

When I get married I want a pirate wedding on an old pirate ship. The after the ceremony is done my husband and I can walk the plank!! Then all the guests will have to drink rum and eat without silverware.

Sounds fun right?

His response:

ARRRRR! Ahoy thar!

Obsessed wi’ seafarin’ heartys, ye say? That sounds like quite an awesome idee t’ me! I may jus’ be havin’ t’ steal that idee. I mean borrow.

OK – good with the pirate speak. It took too much brainpower in my weakened state. But that does sound super fun!

What are you up to for this semi-cold weekend?

Another day another dog

missmatchblog — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:43:37 +0000

I read your profile and had to tell you this…

Ever since my dog saw your dog in Match he has been driving me crazy.

Between Match.com and doggydating.com I can’t

get to my computer to play Fantasy Football!

Forget about us… us dosn’t matter… but for

the sake of our dogs, lets set up a date at

the doggy beach

Mitchel

Weekend warrior

missmatchblog — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:33:00 +0000

Original:

Hey there!

How did your weekend go?

Don’t be shy

My reply:

I chipped one of my front teeth falling off of a patio chair that I was dancing on. Then I made a grown man cry because I kicked his ass at beer pong. Totally worth the snagletooth.

His response:

lol WOW!

Sounds like you had a wild weekend!

I myself just chilled with some friends nothing big… been pretty busy lately but I can’t complain

Ur an idiot

missmatchblog — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 07:06:41 +0000

Original:

Hi.
I was just reading ur profile. U seem very interesting. I’d like to get to know u a bit more. U feel like e-mailing?
Let me know. Hope to hear from u. Take care.

P.S. I see u like movies. Which is ur favorite?

My reply:

How much practice did you need to completely replace the “you” and “your” to “u” and “ur” when writing? I find it exhausting to read.

Can you fix the errors and send me the message again?
Thanks

His response:

Well u and ur is shorter.
But ok. I was reading your profile and find you interesting. Would you like to email sometime?
Take care.